Looking After You Helps Your Child Too

Parenting is rewarding but also challenging. When stress, anxiety, or low mood build up, it doesn’t just affect you — children notice it too.

Australian research shows that parents’ mental health strongly influences children’s social and emotional development. The Longitudinal Study of Australian Children (Reavley et al., 2017) found that ongoing parental stress, anxiety, or depression increases the risk of emotional or behavioural difficulties in children — but when parents get help, children’s wellbeing improves too.

It’s also more common than many people realise — around one in every couple in Australia experiences mental health challenges at some point (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, 2023). So, if you or your partner are struggling, you’re far from alone — and help really can make a difference.

What Dr Billy Garvey Wants Parents to Know

Developmental paediatrician Dr Billy Garvey, author of Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child’s Mental Health (2024), reminds parents that there is no such thing as a “bad child” — behaviour is communication. When a child acts out, withdraws, or worries excessively, it often reflects stress in their world, sometimes from seeing a parent struggle.

Dr Garvey highlights that children need emotional availability, not perfection. Being present, listening, and showing care during difficult moments matters more than always “getting it right.” He encourages parents to share feelings appropriately:

“Let your children see that it’s okay to be human — adults get sad, tired, or worried, but help is available and things can improve.”

He also notes that parent self-care is protective, not selfish. When parents look after their own wellbeing, children learn that emotions can be managed, help can be sought, and challenges can be faced without shame.

When It Might Be Time to See Your GP

Feeling tired, stressed, or emotional sometimes is normal. But if these feelings last several weeks or affect daily life, it’s worth talking to your GP. You might consider booking an appointment if you notice:

• Ongoing sadness, anxiety, or irritability
• Feeling detached from your children
• Struggling with daily routines
• Persistent worry or racing thoughts
• Increased family tension
• Physical signs: headaches, fatigue, appetite changes
• Thoughts that you or your family would be better off without you

Your GP can:

• Create a Mental Health Treatment Plan (providing Medicare-subsidised sessions with a psychologist or counsellor)
• Screen for physical health issues affecting mood
• Recommend parenting or support programs in your local community
• Schedule follow-ups to track how you’re feeling

You don’t need to wait until things feel unmanageable. Many parents find that simply talking to someone brings relief and new ways to cope.

Building a Supportive Family Environment

Children thrive when their parents feel safe, connected, and supported. Keeping routines predictable, taking small breaks for yourself, and practising self-kindness all help. Children learn how to manage emotions by watching adults — showing them it’s okay to seek help teaches resilience, not weakness.

Dr Garvey says, “When parents get the help they need, children’s worlds feel safer too.” Your wellbeing is one of the strongest protective factors in your child’s life.

In addition to GP support, joining a parenting program can help families manage stress, understand behaviour, and strengthen bonds. Evidence-based programs such as 123 Magic and Circle of Security are available online, across Queensland, and locally through Anglicare Gympie. Many parents find these sessions reassuring — focused on connection and confidence rather than judgment.

If You Need Immediate Support

If you ever feel unsafe or unable to cope, please reach out:

• Lifeline: 13 11 14
• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
• Parentline QLD: 1300 30 1300

Charlotte | Student Wellbeing Psychologist

References

1. Reavley, N. J., et al. (2017). Parent mental health and child outcomes: Evidence from the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children. Australian Institute of Family Studies.
2. Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (2023). Perinatal and parental mental health in Australia. Canberra: AIHW.
3. Garvey, B. (2024). Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child’s Mental Health. Penguin Life Australia.